Step out of my damn oxygen tube!

There is this famous joke that a Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. The dying man
mumbles something in Chinese and dies.  So the Sardar goes to china to find the meaning of friend’s last words and was petrified to hear what it meant – ‘U R STANDNG ON OXYGEN TUBE!’

With no offence to the Sardarjis (the whole world knows that they are definitely smarter than the rest of the Indians), this means he killed his friend because he wasn’t aware of the fact that he was standing on the oxygen tube and more importantly because he didn’t understand what the Chinese man was saying.

I did some thinking on this and wondered how many oxygen tubes I have stood on myself. Well, not literally cuz I hardly visit people at the hospital (not cuz I care any less, but cuz the ones who are close enough are never in the hospital – TOUCH WOOD!) But yeah! In my opinion, not giving someone the space to breathe, and by tightening your grip onto that person, you are in one way or the other choking that person out.

I have this friend, a sweet girl whom I met at college and was really attached to her. Till date, I haven’t found someone to replace her in my life… And she has this amazing knack of finding where trouble is and going and landing JUST RIGHT THERE – PLOP! I was someone who was pretty raucous with anyone who troubled her and as a loyal friend, I kept helping her out. As I was doing this, I also wanted to save her from trouble that was coming in and I got myself involved too much in her life. I wanted her to do what I said and wanted her to be as FAAAAR away from trouble as she can.

It was one profound conversation at the entrance of her hostel and over a bar of Twix, that I was made to understand how easy it was to keep dictating to another person and how difficult it was to follow. More difficult, when you like the person and don’t want him/her to feel upset. When you say something, it is okay cuz the other party still has the right to refuse and walk on…  But when you impose, just cuz you care, it becomes unbearable somewhere down the line. Guess what? God gave each of us a life so that we could live ours and not someone else’s.

Imagine every time you impose your thoughts, ideas or dos and don’ts on someone else, you are sort of stepping on their oxygen tube, thereby choking them. Sometimes they would say that they aren’t very pleased with it (just like the Chinese mumbling) and you wouldn’t even care to understand until the relationship has ended and sometimes they wouldn’t even say it but break away. Quite rarely there are these specimens who would really want to please the imposer and very sweetly obey – ah ah not for too long before they break away too.

In any relationship – be it with parents and children, husband and wife, even between friends, it is extremely important to hold them like we would hold water in our hand: neither too tight nor too loose, for it would flow away either ways. Hold them with care and protect them with all that you can. And that helps to keep good relationships and great friends. My baby sister is one of those morons who is actually very affectionate but often comes out to be this arrogant shrew. Her problem was that she cared too much and wanted the whole world to listen to her words and act on it. She never gave anyone the credit for their own intelligence in whatever li’l brain that they had J She was the Miss.GENIUS and Miss.RIGHT all the time. Not long after she started to live away from home did she realize all her flaws. Well even now, she hasn’t totally changed but has quite noticeably reformed. And surely, she does realize that she has far more friends now, than ever in her life…

I grew up studying Robert Frost’s “Good Fences make Good neighbors,” and I would like to reflect my thoughts on the same too. It is not literally the fence but knowing your limit. Just as we take this chalk and draw a clear line when someone is crossing their limits with us, it is also important that we do not cross someone else’s fence. You may have the intention of just passing a comment or a compliment but would be mistaken to have said something offensive. There was this colleague of mine who pointed out that I should probably apply a lighter eye liner because I have bright eyes and I was thinking, wow – bright eyes! But maybe if I was this crooked moron I could have also taken offence to it – why would she have to make comments on my face make-up, without even realizing that it was a tip to get myself look better and definitely not worse. As much as it depends on the tone in which it is said, it equally depends on the person at the receiving end to also take it the way they want. After all, you judge people with the way you are and not the way they are…

Right now, I am at this point where I carefully look around to see which oxygen tube I am likely to step on and stop myself from the biggest mistake that many women do – word vomit. I try consciously not to hurt anyone or embarrass anyone through my imposition (funny that the word is used in school for punishing a child) and clearly aim at making more friends and form stronger relationships with people I already know…

Thank you and I do hope you enjoyed reading my blog

Please do let me know the impact of this blog on you by leaving a comment…

FLY HIGH MY LI’L PARROT!

Fly high my li’l parrot,

When you are released out of the cage,

jus’ so you could see the bigger world outside,

In the beautiful blue sky, do fly high – my li’l parrot, fly high!

 

 

 How often do we do this mistake – the mistake not done by Adam & Eve, the mistake not done by the Aryans or Harrapans, by Einstein or Newton… How often do we do this mistake that a parrot does – of not wanting to fly out of the cage, even after being released out of the cage, that had trapped it in for years. The mistake that it does, not cuz it had never dreamed of being set free, but cuz of the uncertainity that awaits. The mistake of not soaring high up in the beautiful sky, not cuz it doesn’t have wings, but cuz it is so used to short flights inside the damn cage.

 Humans would have never seen civilzations or cultures rise up over the years if they had restricted themselves to the cozy comfort that they had chances to rot in. Did you ever imagine that we all would be dressed in leaves (or probably not even that) and would have been eating raw roots, fruits and raw meat, as opposed to pizzas and khababs, if and if only our ansestors hadn’t decided to take that risk of CHANGE? Well, when I resist  change, I simply tell myself that I might as well die, for without change there is no progress and without progress, there isn’t any learning.

 I recently had a fulfilling conversation with a fellow colleague of mine, who was narrating an incident about a small change that was to be brought about by the management, that offended the sensitive heart of a senior member in the system. Well, he didn’t seem really upset about that, cuz he well understood that a man of that age could probably resist change more due to the fact that he couldn’t really step out of the comfort zone he was living in for years (that itself is wrong in my opinion)… But what upset him more, was the fact that a younsgter of our generation also equally resisted the change. Well, after this conversation, I was very consciously observing my own resistance to changes that came my way. Starting from the brand of lipsticks I used, the cellphone I carried and to the extent of the design of my shoes, I was resisting change in EVERY WAY. I was uncomfortable when I had to go to a new place and when my room was not in a mess. I was uncomfortable when my bedspreads were changed or when the food had less salt. Obviously, I was carrying this mindset everywhere. And that’s when I realized that many things in my life had been stuck cuz I had this fear to let go of that stupid cage that I put on my own self. Like the parrot that sticks around that cage atleast for a while, before it is pushes itself out, to fly high. But once it does fly high, it instantly regrets for not having seen the beauty of the outside world all the while.

  

 And like that parrot, I have also pushed myself out of my darned cage and am ready to fly very very high!

 Thank you and I do hope you enjoyed reading my blog :)

  Please do let me know the impact of this blog on you by leaving a comment…

Living Life Like Everyday!

The slightest of incidents, the smallest drop of happiness, a tiny bit of some beautiful feelings – like love and that dirty scar on a person’ s beautiful mind – anger, everything huddles to make this ecstatic four letter word: LIFE. Living a consistent life would in my opinion be the best thing to happen to anyone. By that, I don’t mean that one should resist any change. I just mean that the way we feel shouldn’t change any day. But then, we can’t be happy everyday – can we? And we can’t be in a state of depression for too long either! There are ups and downs, nights and days, light and dark by the will of God. However, I am of the humble but firm opinion that life has to be “lived” everyday. It has to be rejoiced and petted. Just imagine your life to be a cute pink huggable soft toy and pamper it. Unless you are stint believer of re-incarnation (even if you are for that matter), this life is just one and only one and you deserve every right to live it the way you want. I love pulling my dad into my articles (I wonder why) – but my dad wanted me to do software engineering, the hotspot for everyone with a little brain and lots of money to land in. I was neither, you see and a very adamant Taurian too. I decided that I will only do fashion designing for living. Thaaaat’s right! It took my parents, neighbors, teachers and Madras Christian College’s brochure to change my mind to consider visual communication for graduation, as opposed to fashion designing. If you ask me if I still regret it, well, not much. Probably they all were right; but then, not always you get lucky enough to do what your parents want you to do and still not end up screwing it up. But then, life isn’t a blame game, it isn’t really about you against the others. It is just about the chirpy celebration called LIFE which involes you and others living lives imagining yourselves to be the heros and heroines, jus’ like it movies. If this can happen in Hollywood – why not in real life, huh?

 You know I read this quote once, “Be mindful of every little pleasure in life, by living everyday like it’s your last day,” and thought wow – I don’t do that. I used to live life every day, expecting it to get dark so that I could go to bed or for it to be a Friday evening, when the weekend began. And once the weekend began, I either slept all the time or watched TV or made my mom’s life miserable or started waiting for the weekend to end so that I could go to work! I wasn’t really too pleased with the friends I had, the life that sucked and the relatives who demanded too much… And then I read this quote and lo – I changed.

 Well, I was jus’ kidding and wish it was as simple as that. But yeah, I took some time off and everything settled in my life – I got the job I liked, I got some really kewl friends and most of all, I loved myself and I loved my life. And now, I only look forward to living that day to the fullest and the happiest that I possibly can. I tell people what I like about them and choose to ignore those disturbing parts, which I don’t like. I build friends and call my good old friends, with whom I stopped talking to, cuz of some lame excuses and petty fights. It’s good to have new friends but it’s definitely great to get back to your old friends cuz they are the ones who will, in split seconds, spot the differences in your life and point it out to your own self. I didn’t realize those changes myself and I jus’ rejected their whole idea of “you-have-changed-so-much” saying that it was just a part of growing up. But yes, I guess I have changed and changed for good. The main change that I like about myself is that I live and love life everyday and enjoy every bit of it – thereby living life like every day!

 Thank you for reading my blog and I do hope you enjoyed reading it!

 Please do leave a comment about the impact of this blog!

The power of watching the first and last few thoughts…

“Oh! why does the alarm go off so early”

 Sounds familiar? Well, if you start a day with regret and disgust, you are more likely to end your day too with it. Watching the first ten “why”s of your day does give you tremendous power to boost or to redo what is waiting ahead… Starting your day with a smile and telling yourself, “Good Morning beautiful self… The day is gonna be simply amazing” and with appreciation does help build confidence in yourself as well as a positive aura around you. I have heard my grandma telling me that when we wake up from the wrong side of the bed, the day gets to be bad. Now, after 23 years, I understand it isn’t about the side but about the mindset. Many Indian Hindus, wake up and rub their palms and sleepily open their eyes to see their palms. I was taught to do this too. But hey, I couldn’t see the God they were asking me to see. All I could see was my own soft palms and tiny fingers. I am not the sort of the person who could be so easily convinced about such superstitions. But now, I have realized that it isn’t about seeing God really… but about waking up with a small prayer to oneself! It is about thanking God for all that has been given to oneself and about making the most of it that day. We deserve all happiness and all wealth in the world. But only a few are successful in getting all that they want. Others end up settling for something – anything that is at the reach of their hands and get contented just too soon. My dad for example, his only ambition in his life was to get all his three daughters well educated and happily married; a nice house to spend his retired life at, with my mom. I keep wondering why he never wanted to become a millionaire and why he had to settle for anything less? Well, all this probably cuz he didn’t know about the power of the first and last few thoughts in a day. When we sleep and wake up, our mind is fresh and very active in accepting commands. So when you ask of it to be happy, it will be happy, when you ask of it to feel sick – lo, you are down with a headache or fever. However, you can also ask of it to think of ways to become rich, successful and powerful. This active command system will really help your mind get tuned to achieve all that has been commanded for as it will keep triggering you to do something to put it at peace.

 As important as it is to watch our first few thoughts, it is also very important to watch our closing thoughts for the day. Sleeping with negative thoughts like, “Why was the day so bad?” “Why was the boss so mad?” will only lead to a harder next day as your mind is only gonna ponder over these things and give you nightmares, without letting you sleep. I was in class 10 and it was a difficult mathematics problem and I was so badly trying to solve it. That is when my dad walked up to me and told me to go to bed thinking about the problem. He told me that Mother Earth will solve it for me. I chuckled and obeyed (after it was about going to bed – I could afford to obey it). The next day, I woke up and he told me to get a fresh paper and try solving the same problem. I did do it – smoothly and correctly. I dismissed the fact that Mother Earth could have helped and thought it was just my own fresh mind that helped me do the problem. But today, I have realized that it is more than that. It is really about the fact that I slept seeking for a solution and my mind gave me the answer the next day. The three affirmations of Christ – “ask and it shall be given; seek and you shall find it; and knock and the door shall open” have worked wonders on many lives. For others who are wondering how to apply it in your lives,  that is exactly what I am here to tell you – asking or seeking or knocking just before or after sleep does make all the more impact in your lives.

 Thank you and I do hope you enjoyed reading my blog!